Hangover

I saw a really happy thing last night. Both Straitjacket sketch shows were packed. I mean...wall to wall people. Like, no room for anyone else. Fire code breakage.

That's not the happy thing though. This is the happy thing: The last sketch of the night was new. Also, it's pee-in-your-pants awesome. And by the end of the show, company members were crowding into the doorway of a full house so that they wouldn't miss it. I can't believe it's actually physically possible for that many people to inhabit one space at one time. We were that kind of tight where you can't move your feet or cross your arms. You couldn't really move your head because then you might block someone else's line of sight and then they wouldn't be able to peer through the crowd that filled the stairway to see the pasty shirtless guys who were dancing on stage. So many people excited about the same thing. Literally crawling all over each other to watch our friends do a sketch that they love performing.

That's happy.

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I'm hungover. I'm in that place where I've woken up from being passed out but I haven't settled down for my afternoon nap yet. Today is my first day off since the Superbowl, which was my first day off since Christmas. It's fucking sweet and I can't think of a better way to spend it than being hungover and watching The United States of Tara.

I had to see what that show is like. I could no longer stand to only imagine what level of mediocrity is achieved when Toni Collette and Diablo Cody are combined. Not bad actually. In the first episode, Tara's slutty alternate personality, whose name is "T", is getting high and generally causing trouble so Tara's husband tells her to "get in the shed".

Amazing. There is a shed. A shed in the backyard where Tara's slutty personality is sent to calm the fuck down. There are two reasons why I love this: First, I've watched four or five episodes now and there has been no further mention of the shed. No attempt has been made to explain the shed at all. Diablo Cody has not answered one goddamn question that I have about this shed. What's inside the shed? Was it built soley for the purpose of containing weed-smoking sluts or are there like, gardening tools in there as well? Why does T voluntarily lock herself up? How come the other personalities don't get sent to the shed? Way to keep it mysterious Showtime.

But mostly I love the shed because I want one. It would be pretty sweet to have a place where I could send myself when I get too drunk or too high or too horny. "Self, get in the shed until you can calm the fuck down".


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I just remembered that I bought cinnamon raisin bread yesterday in anticipation of being hungover. I am a genius and I am about to make some toast.